Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Zooming Thru Life:
Coping With Personal Loss is Part of Life

by Paul M. Carhart

Author's Note: This post is re-purposed from a previous one. On February 18, 2014, my wife Lori passed away from a stroke that she had suffered days earlier. My world and the world of our daughter was near-instantaniously turned upside down. As I went over my goals in the aftermath of her loss, returning to some of my long-dormant blogs seemed to be both therapeutic and productive. I came across this post from five years ago or so (Melody is mentioned to be four in the original post) and decided to see if I could take my own advice. For the most part, I have. I re-share this with you now because it is relevant to me. Future Zooming Thru Life posts will come, hopefully, on a weekly basis. - PMC

Zooming thru life will inevitably require at least skirting around the rim of loss. Over the holiday break this year, my wife and I suffered a miscarriage at five months. Devestating and heartbreaking to be sure. We’ve also both lost our fathers in the past five years so we know a little something about loss. What follows are a few things you can do to help ease your suffering.

Mourn
Mourning is a natual part of loss. Don’t skip over it. If you need to cry, cry. Get it out. Don’t let your remorse fester inside of you. Pour it out. It’s healthy and important to let these feelings surface and get them out of you.

Focus
There’s no sense in dwelling on things that you have no control over. The best thing to do when faced with loss is to focus on what you do still have. For example, when we had our miscarriage, we focused on our brilliant, healthy little four-year-old girl that we still had. And we were grateful that we still had her. Gratitude is very important here. Thank God for what you have.

Change Your Scene
Remove, at least temporarily, items that remind you of your loss. Keeping things around that will constantly remind you of your loss is like rubbing salt into a wound. When we had the miscarriage, I immediately removed the crib and changing table from the baby’s room and, since we had decided we weren’t going to try to have any more children, we had given away all of our baby things within several days.

Change of Scenery
Get out of Dodge. At the very least, take a road trip to somewhere. Such simple travel will force you to change your routine, which will take your attention away from your loss and will perhaps allow you to forge new memories with your family and/or friends.

Chart A New Course
For me, the best means of coping with loss, is to sit down and go through my plans and goals and adjust them in light of my recent loss. For example, we were expecting a newborn baby. We had assumed that any travel we were going to embark upon would have to wait until that baby was much older. Now, in the light of the miscarriage, we realized that we could perhaps move some travel goals that we had up. Also, since I was expecting to be on hand to help Lori with the new baby, I wasn’t going to schedule any book signings in the early part of the year. With the miscarriage, it was appropriate for us to take another look at our plans and goals and adjust them accordingly. Put them down on paper. I’ve found that writing down your goals somehow seems to make them more real.

It’s easy to fall victim to depression if you don’t learn how to move on from loss. While there is definitely a place for grief and mourning, it is also possible to pick yourself up and to move on.





Paul Carhart’s book, Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle, is currently from your favorite online bookseller. Pick up a copy in print or digital format today!. Stay up to date: paulcarhart.com.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Zooming Thru Life:
Strategies To Beat The Summer Heat

by Paul M. Carhart

This classic Zooming Thru Life article, repeated from summers past for your convenience, seemed to be the perfect answer to our current summer conditions. - Ed.

No matter how often you're on-the-go, when it's sweltering hot, it sometimes feels like there's no place to go. Here's a few things you can do to beat the heat.

The Hydration Solution
No matter what, if you don't take any of these tips to heart, remember this: You've got to stay hydrated. Drink a lot of water. Americans already don't drink enough H2O. When you're hot and you're sweating, it's even more important to replenish your body's fluids. Drink it warm. Drink it cold. But drink it and drink it often.

Fight The Sun
First of all, the sun is your enemy. And he's bigger than you. In order to do battle, you'll need weapons. If you're going out in the sun for any time at all, sunscreen is imperative. Likewise, don't spend your days squinting. Sunglasses are required attire for recreation or work. Hats can also be found for every occasion. One of my favorites is an Australian outback suede hat with a wide brim and mesh in the crown to let the air flow through… perfect for the hottest of days.

Shop Til You Drop
Air conditioning at someone else’s expense is always a good idea. Department stores, restaurants and shopping malls will keep it nice and cool in order to entice refugees from the sun like you into their web. Why not be a willing participant?

Water, Water Everywhere
Or you can let more conventional wisdom prevail. Park swimming pools and the beach are great, if not crowded, places to cool off. Or take a shower in the middle of the day. At night, relax in the tub.

Cold Intake
On top of the water that you're already drinking (right?), feel free to supplement your fluid intake with ice cold drinks, floats, shakes, smoothies, even an ice cream bar or sundae. You've worked hard, treat yourself!

Get Outside At Night
The end result of a hot day is a hot home at night. If the aforementioned shower or tub soak doesn't do the trick, go for a walk. Once the sun goes down, it's inevitably cooler outside. If you have a convertible, take a drive with the top down and if you don't, just roll down all the windows and let the wind blow through your hair. Some cities still have drive-in movie theaters too. You can get two movies for the price of one and since the sound is now broadcast on an FM station, you can bring a camping chair and catch a couple flicks out under the stars.

Wet Washcloth
When it’s all said and done, you still have to go to sleep at night. And if it’s still too hot, dropping off can seem like an impossible task. I’ve found that if I take a simple washcloth, soak it all the way through, wring it out and fold it over my forehead, it will cool me enough to drift off to sleep.

And tomorrow is another day. Perhaps it won’t be so insufferably hot!







Paul Carhart’s book, Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle, is now available in print and multiple digital formats from your favorite online booksellers. Stay up to date: paulcarhart.com.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Zooming Thru Life
Two uses for common zip-bags

by Paul M. Carhart

Two related tips from the forthcoming book, "Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle."

The beauty of plastic bags

When you're cramming all of your stuff into a backpack or other tight piece of luggage, you may find, especially when high altitude is involved, that some of your more liquid items get onto your clothes, which then must be cleaned upon reaching your destination. This often happens when traveling at high altitudes.

You can avoid this nasty occurrence by putting toothpaste, mousse, perfume, hairspray, cologne, after-shave, lotion, mouthwash, etc. each in their own small plastic zip-bag. That way, if any substance does escape its original container, it will still be contained within the bag.

Addendum: In times of increased terrorist threats, airlines sometimes do not allow passengers to bring liquid containers onboard. Still, this tip is equally relevant to the weekend or road trip traveler. You don't have to go above the clouds to have the lid pop off your shaving crème.

The zippered condiment bag

Here’s another use for essentially the same sorts of zip-bags mentioned above but because the application is completely different, I thought it deserved its own entry.

This one comes from the cake decorators but can be easily adapted to a road trip, camping trip, picnic or lunch pail.

Rather than bring a large container of ketchup, mustard, mayo, ranch dressing, etc., simply put the desired amount in a small zippered sandwich bag, zip it up and off you go.

When you're preparing your food on-site, simply snip off a corner of the bag (see Chapter Two: Daily Diligence, Carry a knife) and squeeze out the condiments where desired.

After you're done, you can just chuck the empty bag with the rest of the garbage.




If you liked these tips, you'll be pleased to know there's a whole book filled with similar advice. Paul Carhart’s book, Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle, will be available from your favorite online bookseller, early 2010. Stay up to date: Visit paulcarhart.com and Become a fan on Facebook.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Zooming Thru Life
Lost or not, ask for directions

by Paul M. Carhart

Another tip from the forthcoming book, "Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle."

I told myself that the tips in this book would not be gender specific. But I hadn't anticipated this one, which is, admittedly, mostly for us guys. And, keep in mind, I'm just as guilty of this as the next guy.

How much time have we wasted driving around in circles, looking for someplace we're sure we can find? All we have to do is stop at a gas station and ask someone for directions. But we don't. And we guys, as a race, waste a ton of time on this.

Let’s face it. Girls don't care. They'll stop and ask. But not us guys.

So if you don’t want to ask for directions, you'll save a lot of time, energy, effort and even money if you just figure out how to get where you're going from the outset. Just do a little homework ahead of time. But if you don't get around to doing the homework, and don't have OnStar or a handy smart phone in your pocket, the moment you aren't crystal clear on where you're going, stop and ask someone.

Oh the heated discussions I could have avoided had I only heeded my own advice.

Look, I don’t care if you think you’ve got it covered. I don’t care if you’re embarrassed, I don’t care if it doesn’t jive with your image. Please, for your own sake , just ask someone.

Because, trust me on this guys, not asking for directions never ever impresses the girls.

Ever.



If you liked this tip, you'll be pleased to know there's a whole book filled with similar advice. Paul Carhart’s book, Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle, will be available from your favorite online bookseller, early 2010. Stay up to date: paulcarhart.com.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Zooming Thru Life
Alternative uses for that always-handy credit card

by Paul M. Carhart

Another tip from the forthcoming book, "Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle."

Nowadays, carrying cash poses its own set of problems. You don't want to lose it. You don't want to tempt would-be thieves with the sight of it. And what you have in your wallet just may not be enough to do what it was you were hoping to do with it anyway.

The answer? That hand-dandy credit card.

Now, I would like to take a moment to just say that I don't really approve of credit cards. There are some things that you need credit to buy. Few people can purchase their house or a new car outright. But, like many others, I had my own trials and tribulations with credit cards in my youth. Now I view them as evil. Yes, they are the spawn of The Devil.

A necessary evil too, unfortunately, if you want to operate in the world in which we live.

The work-around, of course, is the Checking Credit Card (in my case, it's a checking Visa). This card works as a Visa wherever Visa cards are accepted but it deducts the funds from my checking account as if I were writing a check. I can also use it as an ATM card to get access to actual cash (see Chapter Six: Cashing In And Cashing Out, The cash alternative).

On the road, this card is extremely handy. In addition to using it to buy gifts and souvenirs, I can also use it for all those things that you just really can't do unless you have a credit card such as purchasing airline tickets or renting vehicles like cars, moving trucks or scooters. I can even use it to secure my symphony tickets. Or even bypass the movie theater box office altogether and purchase my tickets at an electronic kiosk. Handy indeed!

There also may be limitations to using the Checking Credit Card. Some banks and credit unions impose a spending limit on the card per day as a security precaution, which might facilitate using the old-fashioned checkbook for larger purchases.

There are also less obvious uses for the Checking Credit Card. I can use it as a squeegee to help apply the new screen protector on my PDA, for example.
You can also use the card to scratch mosquito or flea bites. When you scratch with your hands, germs in your fingernails can cause the bite to become infected. But not so with the handy-dandy Checking Credit Card.
Ask your bank for one today!


If you liked this tip, you'll be pleased to know there's a whole book filled with similar advice. Paul Carhart’s book, Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle, will be available from your favorite online bookseller, Winter 2009. Stay up to date: paulcarhart.com.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Zooming Thru Life:
Find something to love about each place and day

by Paul M. Carhart

Another tip from the forthcoming book, "Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle."

Suffice it to say, not everything is always rosy when you're on-the-go. Things go wrong. Plans don't work out. Trains are late. Museum hours change. Modes of transportation you were relying on have changed or no longer exist. The world is a big place and no matter how much homework you may have done, things can be very different when you get where you are going. Unfortunately, there are also unscrupulous people who will steal from you and they’ll get you in your hometown too if you’re not careful.

Middle-eastern countries are notorious for this. Locals who will “give” you things only to require money for it as soon as you take it plague Cairo, especially near the Giza pyramids and The Sphinx. Gypsies who will try to get your attention with a crying infant, only to lift your wallet when you are distracted, frequent the streets surrounding the Coliseum in Rome. Thugs are known to roam the streets of Pisa. Rain or other weather conditions can also nab you when you're not prepared.

Should this ruin your day?

On the contrary. It only adds character. Each daily journey will be a unique experience. Even if your friends have visited the same place at a different time, you will have your own set of experiences and you should savor them, even if they aren't what you had expected. Or worse, even if they downright suck.

Of course, as the saying goes (loosely paraphrased), "stuff happens" whether you're at home or away. Got a flat tire? Miss a golden opportunity? Someone been promoted over you? Arrive at work late? Fast food restaurant screw up your order? Movie you wanted to see sold out? Too many of us rush through life expecting every day to be a perfect representation of our perfect life. It isn't always so. We don't have to "live happily ever after" to live happily. The answer? Find something to love about every day you live and every place you go.

If things really suck, look for the constant things. The twinkle in your spouse's eye when he or she says they love you. The regular paycheck you receive from your employer that allows you to have your car, your house and to support your family. The downsides are almost always outweighed by the upsides. If that isn't so, change what you're doing. If you look hard enough, I'm sure you can find the silver lining.

Even the ickiest places have something in their favor. On one of my trips, it was my intention to take trains to various other countries and make the most of my time. I had purchased a train pass and had mapped out points of interest. When I got there, the entire country was on strike and I didn't even know it. The local rail wasn't working so taxis were the primary means of travel. I had to scrap the plans of country hopping and come up with something else. Several museums I had intended to see were closed as well. But, visiting the local sites still made the trip worthwhile.

So, as you can see, there's usually a way to make the best of your situation if you will only search for it.


If you liked this tip, you'll be pleased to know there's a whole book filled with similar advice. Paul Carhart’s book, Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle, will be available from your favorite online bookseller, Winter 2009. Stay up to date: paulcarhart.com.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Zooming Thru Life:
Folding Money

by Paul M. Carhart

Instead of the standard article, this week I thought I'd post an excerpt from my upcoming book, "Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle."

What's more enticing? A pile of one dollar bills or a stack of twenties? Naturally, the twenties. So why help someone along on his or her personal road to temptation? Make your big wad of bills seem smaller by wrapping the smallest denomination bills on the outside. It doesn't have to be U.S. currency either. Every country in the world has paper money and most of them use our familiar numerals. Just wrap the small denomination bills on the outside and leave the more valuable ones in the center like the crème filling in a Twinkie.

We've got thugs in every country, including the good old U.S. of A. So it only makes sense to make this tip a habit.

I love this tip. In fact, it was the one that inspired me to write this entire book. Now an entire series of articles, a blog and additional future volumes have sprung from this one tip.

Once you've adopted this practice, apply the next one to your money too.


If you liked this tip, you'll be pleased to know there's a whole book filled with similar advice. Paul Carhart’s book, Zooming Thru Life: Creative Tips To Bring Sanity To Your On-The-Go Lifestyle, will be available from your favorite online bookseller, Winter 2009. Stay up to date: paulcarhart.com.